Mom Truths | Motherhood Is a Hangover

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If you’re anything like us, you’ve probably experienced a hangover once or twice before (…or more, let’s be honest). And if you have kids, you probably know the similarities between a hangover and a day in the life of a mom are uncanny. For those who aren’t familiar with one or the other, or both, let us enlighten you:

  1. When you first wake up in the morning, you’re a little groggy. You didn’t get much sleep. You don’t look good. And your brain is rattling. It’s a brand new day, yet you already look tired, weathered and wrung out.
  2. Your ears are sensitive to all the noises around you. Everything is so loud. SO LOUD. You just want to mute everyone and everything around you, lay in a dark room (in complete silence) and not move.
  3. When it comes to food, you grab whatever you can to make yourself feel okay. You think you can eat, you want to eat, but you just can’t. It’s like a constant tease.
  4. Your body feels like it’s having a constant panic attack. You’re anxious, you’re sweaty, you’re shaking, and you’re having palpitations.
  5. You try to focus, but you just can’t concentrate. It’s like your brain turned into legitimate mush.
  6. You’re dying for a nap at any point throughout the day, even if you can’t sleep. You just need a few minutes to yourself to re-coup.

Motherhood is basically one massive hangover without the drinking and the fun… Check out our latest #MOMTRUTH video to see what we mean!

Mom Truths | Give Moms a Break

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It’s actually mindblowing how many people just don’t get what life is like with kids. There are 1.9 billion children in the world, yet some people still don’t understand how kids talk, think, act, behave, live…

Us moms are trying our absolute best to raise good people, and we shouldn’t have to feel the added pressure of “inconveniencing” others.

So, here’s how you can give moms a break:

DON’T: Stare at us with utter disappointment that we’re “ruining” your morning coffee, as we struggle to make our way into the coffee shop with our gaggle of children (a stroller in front of us and a string of kids either hanging off of us or following behind).

DO: Get up and hold open the door for us frazzled moms, who have been up all night with little ones and likely won’t be able to function without this coffee.

 

DON’T: Wait for us to ask politely if you could possibly move to another open seat on the plane, train, bus, subway (or whatever mode of transportation we’ve managed to get our kids on), so that the child we’re currently holding on our lap can sit beside us.

DO: Offer us the seat beside you, so we can stay close to our little people without having them physically attached to us.

 

DON’T: Let out an annoyed “UGHH” when you see/hear one of our kids throwing it down.

DO: Understand that children make noises, and we can’t put a muzzle on them when we’re out in public (or ever…). Know that we’re trying to deal with the situation the best way we know how, while managing about 500 other things at the same time.

 

DON’T: Judge us when one of our little people are bawling their eyes out for reasons we can’t even explain.

DO: Trust that we’ve already done everything humanly possible to make this tiny little person stop crying.

 

DON’T: Look at us in disgust for being on our phones and “ignoring” our children.

DO: Realize that we’re probably using our devices to Google something kid-related, call someone to discuss something kid-related, schedule something kid-related or do anything and everything FOR our kids.

 

DON’T: Be annoyed that we’ve taken our kids out to a restaurant to eat.

DO: Understand that staying home all day long with these little people and cooking meal after meal (which no one actually eats) gets to be a little much. Appreciate the fact that moms, too, like to sit down for a hot minute to enjoy a meal.

 

DON’T: Stare in disbelief as to why we would ever have more than one or two children.

DO: Know that it’s our lives, and we can handle it. And let us know we’re doing a good job!

 

People just don’t get it. Life with kids is HARD, so why not make it a little easier for us moms by smiling and telling us IT’S OK. Check out our latest #MOMTRUTH below!

Mom Truths | What a Girl Wants

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Men, we love you. We do. And we couldn’t live without you. But there are just some things you need to learn. So, we’re breaking it down and letting you know what women really want…

Tip #1: When we’re lying in bed and I’m snuggling up to you, I’m actually looking for chit chat, pillow talk, an adult conversation – NOT the bone 🙅

Tip #2: If I am venting or complaining about something unrelated to you, stop what you’re doing, listen, and let me continue without interrupting. Don’t offer a solution, don’t list off all the steps on how to fix it, because I DON’T CARE. Just validate me. Let me know that my feelings are real and that they matter, and then ask if there is anything YOU can do to help. I may be completely wrong about everything, but all I want is for you to ask how you can help.

Tip #3: If I ask you if this bathing suit looks good on me, tell me it does. When I get home from the salon, compliment my new hair. When you look at me, pretend I’m the same woman that I was ten years ago (because, helloooo, I am). 🔥💃

Tip #4: My period is NOT your inconvenience, and my period is not the reason for my mood. You have no right to be annoyed that I’m bleeding for seven days straight. And don’t you dare tell me that there are “lots of other things we can do” during this time. Instead, empathize with me – please.

Tip #5: Be aware of what’s going on in our children’s lives. Come home from work early one day and offer to take them to one of their after-school activities. Take an unexpected day off to show your commitment to our family. Offer to help every now and then. Seriously. Only every now and then, that’s all I’m asking for! 🙏

Tip #6: When I ask you a question that has to do with future plans, don’t hesitate, don’t contemplate, don’t grunt and say maybe. Say: “That is an AMAZING idea. I love that idea!” There’s nothing more attractive than a YES man. 😍

Now guys, we’re not saying you’re bad people. That’s not it at all. We just want to help you. And that’s why we’re sharing these tips. You are welcome 👍

Check out our latest #MOMTRUTH video down below!

Mom Truths | Are You Ready to Be a Mom?

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If you want to know what motherhood is like, take this test. If you complete all five steps successfully, you’re ready to become a mom. And, GO!

  1. Visit a frat house during frosh week at 2am when everyone is incoherent, hanging off the walls, screaming at the top of their lungs for absolutely no reason whatsoever, possibly naked and very disrespectful.
  2. Take three different animals (ie. a chimpanzee, a cheetah and a sloth) and put them in a tiny, enclosed closet in your house. Make sure they’re really hungry…like so hungry they want to eat each other. Okay, now go stand in the middle of them.
  3. Get your drunk friend, your friend who hates your drunk friend and is super sensitive and overly emotional and is offended by everything your drunk friend does and/or says and a banshee all together and take them out with you in public.
  4. Go to a foreign country where no one speaks your language and try to communicate with the people there. When they get mad at you for not understanding them, pretend you know what they’re saying just so you can get out of there alive.
  5. Stay awake all night long for years in a row, while someone (or multiple someones) come into your room and scream at you, put you down, make you feel small for no reason and then ransack your house.

If you can do ALL of these things, you’ve passed the test and you are definitely ready to become a mom – CONGRATS ! 🎉

If you’re trying to determine whether or not you’re ready for kids, or if you already are a mom and you just need a good laugh, check out our latest #MOMTRUTH below.

Mom Truths | What Moms REALLY Think

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The truth is, people, the things moms say aren’t actually what we really mean. Unfortunately, if we were honest, we’d probably lose all of our family and friends!

Here are just some of the things we’re thinking when we say…

 

What Moms Say: I love staying at home so much. I feel so blessed that I get to spend this quality time with my kids all day, every day.

What Moms REALLY Think: I literally count down the minutes until bedtime.

 

What Moms Say: Every year, I fall more in love with my husband. Watching him as a father is incredible, and it really makes us more connected.

What Moms REALLY Think: Nothing irritates me more than watching my husband parent.

 

What Moms Say: At bedtime, I’m sad to see my kids go. I miss them all night long, and I can’t wait to see their little faces in the morning.

What Moms REALLY Think: The hours between the kids’ bedtime and when they wake up in the morning are literally the only thing that keep me sane.

 

What Moms Say: I feel so lucky that I get to have family dinners every night. It’s the one time in the day when we’re really able to slow down and connect with each other.

What Moms REALLY Think: Dinnertime is ALWAYS a disaster…

 

What Moms Say: The kids are amazing. They blow my mind every day! I don’t remember being this good at things when I was their age. The commitment they have to their sports and school is admirable.

What Moms REALLY Think: Kids these days are over-programmed and spoiled.

 

What Moms Say: I really value the time I spend dropping off and picking up my kids. It’s special because we’re all in the car together and we get to enjoy some great conversations with one another.

What Moms REALLY Think: The fighting, screaming and crying that happens makes me want to drive off the road.

 

What Moms Say: Oh, thank you so much for inviting us over for a playdate. I can’t wait to come to your house and spend time with you and all the other kids.

What Moms REALLY Think: I need an excuse, STAT.

 

For more of what’s really going on in a mom’s head, check out our latest #MOMTRUTH below!

Mom Truths | Mom Problems

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No one’s life is perfect; everyone struggles and faces challenges. But once you give birth to a child, you experience a whole new set of problems in life that no one else will.

Here are just 11 of the million and one problems that mom face on the daily:

  1. You get woken up from the deepest of sleep…multiple times…in one night.
  2. The clothes that fit you just last week are no longer relevant in your wardrobe anymore.
  3. Nobody in your house cares about anything you say. You might as well take your voice and throw it out the window.
  4. Wine bottles – they used to be a lot bigger! Now they are empty all. the. time.
  5. You run on a different clock than everyone else. In the mom world, a minute feels like an hour, an hour feels like a day, and a day feels like a week.
  6. You can no longer finish a thought or a sentence like a normal human being with a fully functioning brain.
  7. It used to take you about 15-20 minutes to get ready, but now it takes you 2 minutes (to shower, get ready, make breakfast, eat breakfast, and do all the things) and it takes everyone else in your house two hours.
  8. All of a sudden your is libido GONE. You went from a minx in bed to a sloth in bed in no time at all.
  9. You want to have a social life, but you’re too exhausted to go out for dinner at 9pm (aka your bedtime).
  10. Your grooming is completely out of whack. You either have too much hair or not enough hair on all the wrong places.
  11. You just don’t look like you used to, but the bigger problem is that you just don’t care.

Check out our latest #MOMTRUTH video and let us know what your mom problems are!