Before babies, you’d welcome it. “It” being sex… doing the dirty, getting it on, rolling in the hay, a romp in the sac, or whatever you want to call it.
Your partner could touch any part of your body without you slapping him across the face, and there was no DANGER alarm that went off when he got close.
You shopped for lingerie because YOU wanted to, because it was fun and because hot dang you looked good in it! But there were also times when your man bought you something sexy to wear, and you didn’t take offense to it (shocking, we know).
You read Cosmo for tips on how to get better in bed because you actually wanted him to come back for more.
You made sure every inch of your body was clean, shaved, and smelling like a freaking rose garden, and you topped it off with lip gloss and a piece of gum.
Instead of walking around with leaky boobs, you were all about freeing the nip (along with everything else).
After baby? Well, let us tell you…once something comes out of your vaheen, you don’t want anything back in your vaheen EVER AGAIN.
You’re more gassy, prone to headaches, and your hair resembles a dead animal on the top of your head. You can barely get dressed let alone remember to put on deodorant, so you’re not really feeling or looking your best, ya know?
But if you do it, if you make it happen, you make sure it happens fast. Like real fast. You get it in and get it out, and the entire time you’re listening for a crying baby and/or living in complete fear that one of your tiny little people is going to find you in a compromising position.
There is literally NO good time, scratch that, there is no time period to have sex once you have kids. And on the rare occasion you do have time, you’d rather spend that time sleeping. So, after baby, a sexual curfew is in play. There’s no snuggling, and there is no way there’s going to be a round two. You can get back at it again in another month. You grew a freaking human inside you, mama, you deserve a break.
To see us rant about this in our lingerie, check out our latest #MOMTRUTH below!